For the majority of single mothers, life probably did not go as originally planned. Whether due to an unplanned pregnancy, divorce, escaping an abusive situation, or deciding to go it alone via artificial insemination, many women either choose to or end up raising children alone.
While the prospect of going it alone is scary and the task may seem quite daunting, children are a gift—the blessing that remains after the pain, drama and loss that may have defined the relationship or situation from which they emerged. The miracle of bringing life into this world is a privilege that many take for granted. Watching a child grow, nurturing his/her mind, and contributing to his/her self-esteem and sense of well-being are not small endeavours; however, when done well, mothers can reap rewards and a sense of accomplishment and pride unmatched by any other life experience. It may not always be easy, but it will be worth it.
Here are some of the joys and the rewards of single parenting.
- You are in the driver’s seat and in control. You determine what is best for your child and you are not accountable to anyone for your decisions. Nothing is up for debate!
- The bond you develop with your kids is stronger and closer. You will be their safe place to receive unconditional love because you show up for them every single day. To them, you are a superhero.
- Your children learn how to be strong and resilient, modelling how you carried them, and problem solved all on your own.
- If a toxic husband or partner is not on the scene, you and your children are happier and not subject to the abuse, quarrelling or violence associated with staying “for the sake of the kids.”
- There is strength in community, and you will meet other amazing single moms going through the same experience enabling you to find your tribe and develop a powerful sisterhood of women who will nurture and help you along the way.
- You will probably raise more responsible, helpful, and functional children who will be self sufficient and proficient at doing chores and managing their lives.
- It will change your life, but you will be changed for the better, and you will realise your tremendous capacity to cope and rise to the occasion in any situation.
- You can take credit for the amazing human being(s) that your time, love and sacrifice have created. Nothing beats a mother’s pride in seeing her children succeed in life.
People often say that the time goes by quickly and before you know it, the kids will be grown and ready to create their own lives. The journey will have its challenges, but you will get to witness every milestone, enjoy the smiles and the laughter, be there for the big and small achievements, and to bear witness to their day-to-day development and progress. Best of all, having been front and centre every step of the way, you will never experience the regret, guilt and the shame that many absent fathers endure for the missed years and lost opportunity they can never get back.