May 12, 2019.
By Ralna Albertie
So, today is Mother’s day. A happy and joyous occasion. A day when the whole world recognizes and celebrates the contributions and sacrifices that mothers make for their children and for their families on an everyday basis.
A day for flowers, cards, breakfast in bed, gifts, chocolate, a spa day and maybe even dinner. It is a wonderful sentiment.
Of course no day can really express the amount of time, labour, sacrifice, worry and mental energy that goes into being a mother.
You have to be a mom, a doctor, a teacher, a mediator, a chef, chauffeur, caretaker, hairdresser, herbalist, personal shopper, counselor, security, life coach and the list goes on. You are everything at all times.
That being said, imagine doing all of the above without any support and or with limited finances. In other words, you are a single mom. Overwhelming is an understatement!
Being a single mother on Mother’s Day can bring on some mixed emotions. You can feel lonely, depressed, angry, left out and even isolated. If you are a new mom or recently separated you may not be aware of this and be completely blindsided by these emotions.
Others may not understand this because it is supposed to be your special day. They don’t understand that after all the greetings and best wishes, Facebook posts and WhatsApp messages with glittery roses, you still have to pull through all by yourself. You still have to buy groceries, cook, clean up, comb the children’s hair for school on Monday, iron uniforms, help with homework, plus see about yourself. You are both mother and father all the time. Some may have the support of family members, but many do not and have to do it alone.
I want to encourage single moms to do something for yourself this Mother day no matter how small. Just the act of making time for yourself can go a long way to combat negative emotions.
Taking control of the situation and not depending on anyone for your own happiness can make a huge difference. You can choose to recognise all that you do and spoil yourself. You deserve it. Of course this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t accept help from others but there is great power in taking control of your own situation.
It is so easy to wallow in self pity, to think about what others are receiving or doing. How this is not what you planed. You wanted your kids to grow up with a father. These feelings are normal and to be expected. However, you can change your perspective.
If you have funds, you can treat yourself however you see fit. If money is an issue and it is for many of us single moms, I want to encourage you. Here are some ideas to make your day better.
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